have to see my mother get Alzheimer’s and my father lose his mind over it. Never thought I’d see the day my mother didn’t want to—actually forgot how to—cook, and my dad would have to do it for himself. Never thought I’d have a brother who would leave his parents with his college debt and procede to completely abandon them. Never thought I’d be trying to take care of my aging parents at age 40 and dealing with the proud reticence of my father.
Life over the last 2 years has been trying at best. Heartbreak is constant. Anger ever-present between my father and I. It switches between us depending on the day and circumstances. I get it, as does my angel-like husband, but it doesn’t make it any easier to take. Dealing with my mother on a daily basis, living in a big house in the middle of nowhere, with no hobbies or knowledge of the area, with only us as contact; it’s wonder he’s not blown his face off already. Yes, he’s threatened it, but his makeup would never allow him to go through with such an act of cowardice. A man with a history like his would never cave to such menial acts.
My mother, once a vibrant, energetic woman, is now a meek, fearful, shell of her former self. Storm clouds freak her out, as do open shutters as evening falls. She cannot stand more that ten minutes without my father, asking repeatedly where he is, when he’ll return. She used to be an excellent cook, mother, caregiver, translator, and wife. Once.
They moved from Argentina 2 years ago even after my insistent pleas for them to stay put. Their gorgeous apartment was paid for, the family close, the friends closer. My mom’s reticence to cook was taken care of simply by the number of excellent take out shops in their town. I warned my dad that everything was much more expensive here, that they’d have issues with health insurance, that they wouldn’t be able to live off their social security checks anymore. But alas, all fell on deaf ears. Today he rues the day he chose to ignore me.
When they moved here (Florida) the housing boom was still at 80%. They bought their house outright and began making the obligatory settling-in purchases. Sadly, the market did not mirror their glee and my parent’s once sufficient retirement turned into and inadequate pile. Neither of them work and Medicare and AARP take most of their scant checks. Having worked in Argentina half their lives, their checks do not reflect their years of dedicated labor. As such, I fear when my mom goes into assisted living, there will only be enough money for two or so years. My work life suddenly became much more active.
I always believed having kids young was a fools quest. Why would you ruin your life having to take care of screaming babies during your prime? Go travel, explore, do, see, think, act. Independent me never considered the implications of older baby-making. I get it now. In what I consider to be my prime I’m locked into my daily grind, working like mad, with no vacations, caring for ‘children’. Anytime we’ve tried to get away for more than 4 days things fall apart. Not having anyone else in the area I can’t call on anyone to pay them a visit.
So while I never thought I’d be experiencing any of the above, I am. Do I like it? No. Am I adapting? Yes. After all, do really I have a choice?
From experience I can tell you that 40 is way too old to be bearing children. No, not for the mother, but for the children. Think about it: how old will the child be when the mother is at her retirement age; or at 70, when things generally begin failing? Said child will be 30 years old, at the prime of its life, having to deal with an aging parent, unable to do things most 30 year olds are doing because they have to babysit or play nanny. Fair? Personally I don’t think so. I’m having to deal with something similar right now, plus 10 years. And I’m a little bitter since my parents didn’t have to deal with ailing progenitors until they were in their 50s.
Ok now for the mother’s side. As someone who never wanted a child for fear that my life would be affected in ways I was too selfish to accept, I understand where the mother’s coming from. Live your life to its fullest and only then give birth. Fair enough. But please see opposing viewpoint above.
It’s been unbearably hot this summer, much hotter than I remember it being the last few years. Like the stupidity that hits folks on the highways and byways when it begins to rain, the heat seems to affect some in similar fashion on our lakes. Case in point: the two personal water crafts that smashed into each other as Rick was taking his turn on the wakeboard.
We had no idea how bad it was as we set out to make sure everyone involved was alright. As we reached the area we noticed styrofoam littered throughout and realized the collision was way worse than we though. We called out twice “Is everyone alright?”; twice we got back “No!”. Then we saw the blood and Corey, Erick and I jumped in—Corey as lifeguard, Erick as translator one, and me as translator two and little girl rescuer. Of course they were Latino.
Once we got the six year old into the boat and made sure all she had was a bloody nose and lip, I called 911, always fun. Corey had the two boys apart from jet ski #1 asking them the usual questions to determine if they were ok. The man we assumed was the father had a protruding tibia so Erick stayed with him to make sure he didn’t slip into shock, which he undoubtedly was already somewhat.
Then we realized—or rather the kids pointed out—that ski #2 was sinking. Well of course it was! The entire front left ‘quarter panel’ was demolished. So after Rick and Matt tied #1 onto the back of the boat they managed to finally get #2 over and tied as well. We headed to the boat ramp to meet the sirens.
Once there things progressed as usual: way too many departments on scene, way too many officials wanting to be in charge, crying family members and thankful hugs. Paperwork was filled out, questions answered, ski #2 pulled onshore to keep the gas from leaking onto the lake, and ‘you’re welcomes’ spoken.
After dropping Erick and Ryan at their vehicle, we made our way to Shantelle’s dock, sans the over-the-limit citation Rick feared we’d get with 11 on our boat. Of course, as soon as we tried to get a rider back in the water it started to rain. So that was our exciting rescue day :)
Whew! Got a kick-ass two inches of rain yesterday; all within 45 minutes or so. Went out this AM and all the plants are happy and green green green, especially since we got lightning. The cicadas are ecstatic. It’s loud out there!! Now it’s time to clean up the overflow areas or leaves and soil…small price to pay :)
I have to realize that, no matter what I say, my father will do whatever he wants anyway—starting from the day he called me from Argentina to tell me he was moving back. So, in light of this unavoidable fact, I relinquish command.
I’ve never wanted anything but the best for both of them. Nor have i ever wanted any of their money, if there’s anything left after the many moves anyway. After speaking with C the other day, as I lay in bed chit-chatting with mom, I learned that I’m the enemy. I always get mad at him no matter what he does, even after it’s something I’ve asked him to do for his benefit. I yell and get angry for no apparent reason and phone calls with me are difficult.
Well dad, the towel has officially been thrown in. Go on and do as you will, I won’t do a thing to stop you. As much as I wish you’d listen when I tell you selling your house is a mistake, I know you’re gonna do the opposite of anything I say. So go on and lose $40,000, even though you can scarcely afford it. Go on and have dinners out every night for the same reason. Pack up the house as if you’re really gonna take every piece of furniture cross-continent again. As much as they frustrate me, I’ll still take your calls. And once you’ve moved away (again) we’ll visit once a year or two…on the way to go snowboarding…when we can afford it.
When I heard Sting was planning a show with the Royal Philharmonic as his backup I figured it might be worth seeing. However, I wasn’t prepared for the sublime evening we experienced.
Let me begin by saying the Mohegan Sun arena was a really good place to see this. It’s smaller-than-average size lent it a personal air a larger venue would have lacked.
The show itself resembles the lineup of the upcoming Symphonicity album, with one or two differences; the biggest of which are the encores—three of them for us :) It seemed he played at least one song from almost every album he’s ever put out, with the Police and solo. In between most of the songs he addresses the audience and either tells an anecdote associated with the piece, or explains the background of it. Very cool!
For me, part of the entertainment was the conductor. He seemed to be enjoying himself as much as the rest of us were, jumping and swinging to the beat with a huge smile on his face. My favorite song: Russians. It’s always been one of my favorites and the orchestra added an amazing extra depth to the performance. Simply amazing! Remembering it gives me goose bumps.
I adore Sting and have seen practically every tour he’s been on, including a couple with the Police. He’s been able to impress me with his choices of accompanying acts as well as his performances. I think this one ranks number one. If you have a chance to see this show, do. You won’t be disappointed.
I came out this morning to make some coffee, begin getting moving for the day, when I look out the door’s window and see the pot with the Carolina Wren’s nest topped over. Ah, horror!!!!! There’s a nest in there!! So I put some chooz on and headed out to recover what might be left.
There were brand new babies in there! Sadly one was dead, but the other four and their nest came up easily enough when I scooped them up. And as soon as the heat from my hand started to seep in they began do ‘peep’.
We were working at 14:00 so, after spending an hour on the phone attempting to reach someone to take them, we set out toward Belle Isle. I got instruction to wet some dog food and feed them on the way, since they’d been without nourishment for a while. And they ate!! I fed birdie babies :D
This makes two found nests on the property. Hopefully there wont be more. But I’m thankful there are people out there willing and able to accept the fallen.
despite efforts to plug the pipe with mud, cement and debris. Folks, did you really believe stuffing crap into a well that’s spewing at pressure from the bottom of the ocean would work? When the drilling apparatus was on the Deepwater Horizon, were there not pressure control mechanisms?
C’mon kids, try a little harder. Use your supposedly above-average minds to see into the future!
Click to read how this will hurt animals
Eventually this thing will be fixed (I hope) but, by then, it will be far too late. The impact of this catastrophe will be felt for many years to come. Generations will be unable to eat the wonderful Gulf coast seafood we’ve enjoyed for so many years. Over 400 different species call that area home. Even after the cleanup is concluded, the few random species that have survived will be contaminated. The toxic elements which fish and crustaceans have invariably ingested will be disastrous to human health, not to mention other animals.
Environmental issues are just one aspect of this disaster. Fishermen are quickly becoming, and will continue to be, unemployed. The repercussions on the area’s tourism are already proving ruinous. Some areas, already lower middle class, will be in even more dire straits. And, oh yeah, the ecosystem will be forever changed.
Sadly, this is an incredibly tragic watershed moment, one I think much of America is somewhat ignoring.
Today marks a milestone, for me and the USA: the space shuttle Atlantis has landed for the last time. It’s missions forever done, it will be transported to the Smithsonian’s Air and Space museum to live out the rest of its days as an attraction. Seems sad, considering its life span span (24 years) and the millions of miles logged (120M). I remember the first mission and the amazing sight that was takeoff. A new era had started for Americans; the space age reigned.
The last shuttle mission is mere weeks away. I’m truly saddened by this. Not only because the plumes of fire are so amazing to see, the shuttle parties with friends immensely fun, but because it’s the end of an era of discovery and awe. A time in our lives when we were higher and mightier than anyone else. Perhaps it’s fitting considering America’s ongoing world decline.
